And it’s Valentine’s Day yet again. Oh my gosh, I’m just, just so excited, really now, I can’t even bare to hide it. I shit you not. Okay, honestly, when I woke up this morning I had dinner plans to look forward to. Not with an actual date mind you, I had dinner plans with my best friend, Debi. After all, both single ladies with no chance of even last minute plans are also entitled to a little fun. When I arrived at work, Debi came strolling up to me and said “You’re going to be so mad at me”. She cancelled our plans. Instead, we were going up to a tattoo shop for a brief consultation; Debi is adding color to her currently black & grey chest piece. Afterwards, she realized she was hungry and we went out to dinner after all. The holiday barely even made a blip on my “Amazingly Horrendous/Awesome Holiday Scale”. Really, it was just that boring.

I suppose this holiday (if you can even call it that) is really only meant for couples. It’s meant to shun us single folk. Good, remind me that I’m alone. I won’t forget next time to remind that you’re an idiot for sleeping with that ugly motherfucker.

Nooo, I’m not bitter at all. As much fun as it is to spend copious amounts of time with my friends, I must say, the highlight of my day has been right now, watching David Cross hanging out on the Colbert Report. Seriously, it’s made my night. And with that, I pledge my undying love to David Cross and urge every one of you out there tonight who are emotionally alone to just say no to love. It only makes you get fat.