I can be terribly boring. Saturday, Feb 18 2006 

I’m unnaturally exhausted. Today is Saturday and finally, I do not have to go to work. It has been months since I have had a Saturday night off (even if I still have to open the store tomorrow morning; sleep is for the WEAK) and I am determined to enjoy it. I’m just glad that I get to clean the ages of dust around the house.

Usually when people I know try to set me up on a date and they say “Oh Elaine, you’re going to ‘loooove’ him blah blah blah he’s tall, has long hair, etc” and I sit back and think about the last time someone said that to me and the dude was tall & had long hair, only, it was unwashed and he had a really awful BO problem. Not to mention the fact that his teeth were DEFINITELY unpresentable. Ew, I still get the willies from that one.

Today I’ve decided that the word of the day is “mundane”. Cheers!

CNN likes to report deaths! Estimated death toll: 1,815
1,800 feared dead in mudslide
Four killed, thousands without power in winter storm
In Libya, 11 reportedly die in cartoon protests

Death, elsewhere
Crews in African crash accounted for; no word on survivors (source: USA Today)

Do four articles constitute as a lot of death in the news? I think so, that’s why I’m going to wear black today.


My Coffee is Already Cold Friday, Feb 10 2006 

Privacy fears hit Google search (source: BBC)
Islam-West divide ‘grows deeper’ (source: BBC)
Warning Urged for ADHD Drugs (source: Washington Post)
Patriot Act Compromise Clears Way for Senate Vote (source: Washington Post)

On a more personal note, about a month ago I sent a letter into my local newspaper (I also posted it here) and have been waiting since then to see if they would actually print it. Well, they did! It took long enough, but I’m satisfied (even if they did cut out quite a few lines of my sarcasm, as was certainly expected). In the actual print version of the newspaper, I have two columns. Take that you employed journalists.

Reader dreams of chance to ask President Bush 10 questions

Politics, Shmolitics. Thursday, Feb 9 2006 

Bush Gives New Details of 2002 Qaeda Plot to Attack Los Angeles (source: NY Times)
Never let it be said that the New York Times doesn’t have a grip on irony & wit. Through the entire article they refer to Dubya simply as Mr. Bush, rather than “the President” or “President Bush” (etc). Also, the photos used with the article are genius! The plane in with the shot of the U.S. Bank Tower (just off to the left) and the photo of Mr. Bush speaking, notice the Paul Revere in the background. I think the photos correspond with the article very well. Well done New York Times, well done.

As described in the staff report by the independent commission that investigated the Sept. 11 attacks, Khalid Shaikh Mohammed, who is said to be the mastermind behind them, had originally envisioned an elaborate plan with 10 planes that would attack the East and West Coasts simultaneously on Sept. 11, 2001. But Mr. bin Laden rejected the plan, the report said, because of its difficulty.

Related: Bush details foiled 2002 al Qaeda attack on L.A. (source: CNN)

Lawmakers, White House strike deal on Patriot Act revisions (source: Forbes)
Okay, so, concerns about the mockery of civil liberties included in the Patriot Act have been revised. Well, which ones? Basically, the Act has been revised and they have yet to vote on it. I’ll keep my fingers crossed that it will simply be tossed out with the daily trash – just as it should have been in the beginning.

New video of kidnapped journalist airs (source: USA Today)

“I am here. I am fine,” journalist Jill Carroll says in the new video. She urges supporters to do whatever her captors want to get her released.

And the world waits to see what happens next.

Just Another Night at the Diner & Corinne Bailey Rae Wednesday, Feb 8 2006 

This fine evening, my best comrade and I decided that of course there was nothing else we could do on a Tuesday night other than go to a diner. It’s always such a difficult decision. Really though, to comprehend what kind of small town I reside in, you must understand our food joints. We have quite a few, and these quite a few always seem to close early. Thus leaving a diner, Taco Bell, and Wendy’s. This is the usual nightly decision. Rather than getting all plump and fat on deliciously sinful Wendy’s or Taco Bell, we lifted the 6 month hiatus on diner visits (the last included a mass amount of Exorcist vomit – it was just one of those kind of nights you have when you’re 20, I suppose) and went to the ol’ hot spot.

Everything was relatively quiet for the first 10 minutes or so, that is, until two platinum bombshells (and I use that term loosely) “like hi my name is Elaine and my favorite color is clear, he he he …” girls walked in, swinging happily & drunkenly from this tiny plump fellow’s arm. My comrade and I snickered lightly as they took the table behind us as we continued to consumer our wonderful plate of pancakes. Eventually, one of the blondes got a little excited when the waitress told her the bar was making last call. Her voice raised a full 3 octaves “WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT’S LAST CALL???” Cut to my comrade and I snickering a little more obnoxiously this time around.

Once the waitress left, Drunky-McDrunk-Drunk started to simma’ down a bit, at least she got a bit quieter in her nonsensical ramble, and began to have the ever so typical “Oh guys, I love you guys … Man, I love you, you guys are my best frienddssssssspfff”. And then she started to ramble. And ramble and ramble some more. Eventually it got to the point where my comrade and I were downright splitting at the seams with laughter and still, the drunkards noticed NOTHING. NOTHING, NOTHING, NOTHING! Oh and was it wonderful!

As we got up to pay our check, Miss Drunk-Too-Much asked to shake my hand and then proceeded to ask my comrade if she had ever had a boyfriend. My comrade flushed red in her cheeks and quietly said “Noooo, boys are gross, I like girls. I’ve had girlfriends”. Then miss Drunkie-Drunk decided to start hitting on her. And what did we do? Laugh the entire way to the counter to pay our bill.

It makes for quite a night, I can tell you that. I’m glad that the end of the 6 month Diner Hiatus ended with a gleeful night spent happily sipping coffee in the stinky little diner. Hooray.

Now, listen to Like A Star & Enchantment by the amazingly talented and beautiful Corinne Bailey Rae. (courtesy of aurgasm)

Hello world! Tuesday, Feb 7 2006 

Ahem, well, I suppose this is it. The dreaded first post. I’m really excited about this and I want to make a nice first impression. I’ve had a “members only” kind of journal for quite sometime and I feel that joining wordpress.com and those interesting blogs I’ve seen so far – Musings of a Postmodern Negro, Legal Pad, and Colin D. Devroe – is really going to break me of my fears of speaking out.

I suppose you could just call this half Alzheimer’s insurance and half dirty, dirty brain vomit. Yes, exactly.

Okay, so can someone please tell me why Sylvester Stallone and Keith Carradine are being wiretapped by the former lawyer of Micheal Jackson and Elizabeth Taylor? I hope it’s something really juicy like selling illegal steroids or something unexpected, like there were no steroids involved at all. Or perhaps one day this Anthony Pellicano decided that he was really bored one day and decided to take his strange hobby of wiretapping to the next level. Instead of tapping his mother’s house, as I suspect he must, he decided to tap a former client, Stallone and “whoopsie” found out some interesting things, like Keith Carradine’s home telephone number. Yes, I’m sure that’s it, Pellicano was just looking for something new to do one day. Or at least, that’s how the initial thought popped into his head. The racketeering, interception of electronic communications and other offenses just sort of came into play by chance.

I like to think that every calculated plan a person makes is determined by a thought in his/her brain to simply “do something new today” and all the other emotions and feelings and opinions and intentions just fall into place as necessary. Or maybe I’m just the only one who finds Sylvester Stallone being wiretapped amusing. Especially since it was by some ex-lawyer of his and not the government. But then again, why would the government need to tap Stallone? One can only wonder.